emilyexorsist: (twin automatic shoot)


One: I'm in a do-I-don't-I situation about grabbing a prompt for the FQF. I really really really want to because I think it will be so much fun and I've always wanted to do it but thus far, never have. So now is as good a chance as any, right? I am just feeling like I'll bog myself down with too much. I know I've got time as it's finally summer and all but I ~still~ haven't finished my [livejournal.com profile] help_japan fic and I just completely binned my THBB fic for a brand new idea. So now it's only a baby fic again and I'm panicking slightly that I won't have time to do it justice because I really love the idea and I don't want it to turn out a bit drab and half-hearted. I'm a pathetic writer and can only dole out a few fics at a time ;___;

So... I guess I'll put it out there: do I or don't I?

Two: In other life-ly goings on MY MUM IS COMING HOME TODAY OMG YAAAAAAAAY *\o/* I haven't seen her in over two weeks and I cannot WAIT :D I'm such a mummy's girl, I know .-. What am I going to do when I'm the other side of the Atlantic next year? Probably phone her up every free second. Poor mum. But anyway, I cleaned the whole house and changed the sheets on her bed for when she comes home. But that may or may not have something to do with going up to see [info]littlemrstom on Friday ._.

Three: What else? I saw my friend Sarah today after WAY too long as we'd both been away separately. I missed her so much, too. So that was super :3 and I dyed my hair blond again, just the ends. Today I also watched a crappy film but it had Sean Bean in it so it was well worth it. I miss Game of Thrones! OH and I bought the second book to that series which I'm excite to read :D (the first one was one of my holiday read and oifhsdoifhj SO GOOD *_*)

And for the lols I just want to add this into my post. Really, because it's one of my favourite music videos evaaaa :3 makes me happie.


 


the return!

Jul. 9th, 2011 05:35 pm
emilyexorsist: (twinss)

I'm back! Back from ten fabulous and freaking HOT days in Turkey. I had such a perfect time and it kinda sucks being back in rainy england but at the same time it's so naise to be home and in my own bed. Only thing I'm missing is my mum, who is away for another dew days :( but aside from that, I'm smiling, I'm tanned and slightly in love :3 I met a guy this holiday, a beautiful, musical, interesting guy who is moving into my city next year. Seems all too good to be true, which it might well be but for now, I'm basking :)

Other than a little lovin' in Turkey we had the most amazing time! It was super hot all the time, which meant even ghosty me got a bit of colour YAY. I managed to lose a little weight as well, wtf I know right, on HOLIDAY?! But I did. Eating wasnt really so appealing in 40 degree heat so, hey :D Our apartment was so lovely for the money we paid (which was very little xD), we had a balcony and a little kitchenette that we ~didn't~ manage to set on fire, bonus! and our hotel was right on the beach.

Everything was so ~cheap~ as well! I got a fake designer bag for my sister and some pretty trinkets. The sales techniques at the markets amused me, for one you can barter down the price to barely anything and for another I got told purchasing certain items was "cheaper than Primark, cheaper than shoplifting!" I highly doubt it, but it made me chuckle.

I think the night life was one of my favourite aspects, I'm not a super hardcore party animal but I do love dancing and letting lose and being four girls on holiday they ~always~ want you in ~their~ club, thereby we were tempted in by free drinks almost everywhere. I barely spent a penny on drinks in the end :D I danced on bars, too.

This is a really pathetic holiday post, I know but I'm in a rush to get ready for a friend's party. I have a lot to catch up on in terms of emails and fandom stuff. I LITERALLY HAVE NO CLUE WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THE TH BOYS .-. which bothers me, but I’ll catch up tomorrow or summat :D

I just wanted to say haai to you all and I did miss you! I hope nothing too terrible has happened and you’re all good/okay/happy/in high spirits <3 Oh also, thank you to
[info]steinsgrrl, [info]musique_style and [info]liebeundvertra for the v-gifts ^_^ kisses to you all!

So, pictures!
Turkey!! )

That's it! For those of you who are my FB peeps, loads more will be up soon! But these are the best ones :) Love to you all!


sexuality

Jun. 26th, 2011 04:20 pm
emilyexorsist: (bill sad)

It's been a little while since I've posted an LJ rant, so I figured it's okay occasionally, right?

Straight off the bat, I'm bisexual and online, pretty open about it. So some of you probably already knew. And for those who didn't, I'm sorry if you felt I kept something from you, I just don't tend to introduce myself with the info. In real life, quite a few people know I am but not everyone. The situation's similar I guess, I don't tend to just put it out there in conversation but there are a few who've either guessed or it's come up in conversation (sober or not) and so they know.

Nowadays, I consider myself pretty okay about it. I never really had one of those ferocious internal wars with myself. It was more a skirmish I guess. I was just confused and a little frightened when it turned into "hey, that girl's pretty," to, "wow she is so gorgeous I wish I could..." (nothing pedo here!) When I realised, or confronted it at least, it was during a time when I was struggling with some really serious depression and so I think I sort of lumped all my issues together and shoved them in an "depressed problem" box. Therefore, I never really dealt with my sexuality as a single issue. 

For the most part, I really feel okay with my sexuality, I often let things slip when I'm with the friends who don't know, not as a "hey look at me I'm not straight" ploy, I just don't think about it as something I shouldn't say. But recently, I've had several dreams, or musings, when I've been with a girl (sry guyz, you're out atm) and it gets heated but nothing ever happens because we'll nearly kiss or something and then I'll pull back and say something ridiculous like, "We can't, what if we get caught?" I mean, I kept it quiet for a long, long time, especially irl, and now these thoughts seem to be at the forefront of my mind again. Is this still my secret?

I've got enough of those, I don't need more.

This is such a ridiculous post as I'm not even sure what I'm getting at. I sort of feel the stirrings of confusion and unhappiness again which sucks so, so bad because I'm supposed to be in a "good place in my life" right now and stuff like this I'm supposed to ignore, keep away from my bubble of happiness or just suck it up and fucking deal.

That's it really, I feel like shit now.

general

Jun. 25th, 2011 06:22 pm
emilyexorsist: (tom hot)

This is a post for the sake of a post. I WANTED TO MAKE CONTACT WITH LJ OKAY?

First and foremost OMG TOKIO HOTEL IN JAPAN AGAIN *_____* :D Although I am ~so~ not feeling Bill's red carpet look with the shiny pedo coat. But whatever, EVERYTHING ELSE WAS/IS PERFECT. Excuse me while I take a moment/hour/week to enjoy this. I love seeing them. Esp Bill, he's so godly.

Second, (the boring stuff) I dip dyed my hair at last yaaaaaay! Only, because I have naturally dark hair it's not very obvious so I'll probs wait until I come back from holiday and then re-dye it and ~then take pictures. Although maybe the sun will make it blonder.

Third, I finally bought a bikini! Bikini shopping is like hell but with not enough fire to burn all the skimpiness I CAN'T FIT MY ASS INTO. Actually, it's my boobs which tend to be the issue. Goddamnit. But I have one, which is the key point here :) And I have another maxi skirt. I'm pretty much set for monday.

Oh yeah, and fourth, I don't think I've mentioned to my flist that I'm going away for 10 days on monday :D As a post-exam and wow-we-actually-made-it-through-college treat, three friends and I are shipping ourselves off to Turkey for sun and sand and parties and aosihfsaoifh I am SO excited *_* Hopefuly I can rid myself of the pale.

And now, I'm listening to Tokio Hotel, in honour of Tokio Hotel.

Have something beautiful/adorable:


emilyexorsist: (Default)
One: Today is good. I only have one more exam (FUCKYEAH ON SO MANY LEVELS) and I'm going to dye my hair blonde. Okay, I'm going to take the first step ~towards dying it, which actually only involves buying the dye. I'm just dip dyeing actually, so no full scale blondness. Although I wish I actually could pull that off.

Two: I've been uncharacteristically optimistic the last couple of days, considering I'm still in the middle of exams. So that's another good thing. Plus, I've recieved several reviews on some fics I sort of forgot about. I don't know the cause for this sudden (admittedly very small) wave of reviews, but it's so naise :3

Three: I have like five million ideas for fanfics, Tokio Hotel and Game of Thrones alike, so I'm hoping come Tuesday I'll finally be able to listen to the niggle in my brain telling me to WRITE WOMAN, WRITE and turn some plot bunnies into plot... tigers?

Moar: I'm super esctatic for the finale of Game of Thrones on monday but rele mad at England for showing it a whole DAY after America does. But whatever, the excite overrides the mad. What else? Oh yeah, I got some Where's Wally pj bums :D Only you guys in America call is Where's Waldo I think?

OH YEAH and also, I finally updated my profile info stuff, at long last.

So that, is a summary of my life, from me to my flist :) I'm afraid there's no twins today, but for those of you who appreciate the sexy, have some Jon Snow. I don't remember who gave me this gif but it's so yum:

indulgent

Jun. 4th, 2011 07:24 pm
emilyexorsist: (Default)

I bought myself a treat today. Pre-exams I called it, or something :)



Y THE SHITTY BLURRING?! I don't know but it's sew annoying.

Also, BIG BANG CHALLENGE. omg.

fuckyes

May. 26th, 2011 09:12 pm
emilyexorsist: (Andrej)
Today I took a day off revision and wrote shitloads. YES I ACTUALLY WROTE SOMETHING. Hopefully something will be complete soon, because I started two things and I'm hoping I won't lose interest...

And now I'm catching up on reading things on THF and holyfuckingshit it feels so gooooood <3333 While I'm here, are there any new fics I should be keeping an eye out for? I haven't checked anything new in a looooong time ;____;

Aside from that my life is very much the same as it has been for the last few weeks. Revision has taken over. But I did go clubbing on Tuesday and it was SO much fun. I met a guy called Mario who actually looked like Mario, only less moustache-y and more stubbley so that was quite exciting. I bought another Bruce Willis DVD and Lady Gaga's album yesterday :3 and now I'm feeling kinda rough but thinking it'll go away because I'm NEVER ill.

Oh yeah, and I've left college now, which is really weird. I only go back now for my exams. It's really bizarre o__O

I hope you're all okay! I miss my online lyfe a lot :( <3333

 

emilyexorsist: (adidas)

This is an account of the last several days (and covers why I'm not around)

-> Wake up
-> Go to college for 8.30AM
-> Stay there until 8.30PM and work solidly for exams
-> Go home and work out for 40 mins and do a bit more work
-> Go to sleep because even touching my laptop is SO unppealing

Yes, this is LITERALLY my life, i.e I don't have one.

I have failed as Jess' beta so I'm off to finish that. Tomorrow, my mum's gonna take me out to the movies for a little break and hopefully I can snatch a few mins to catch up on one or two fics. I HAVEN'T EVEN CHECKED THF IN DAYS. Monday is my first exam. I'm just counting down the days until the 21st June and then I can BREATHE again. Fuck I hate this time of year. I feel so miserableeeee.

I hope you're all okay. I haven't really checked LJ much so if anyting super important has happened feel free to lemme know in a comment :) Much love to you all <3333

Selfish selfish post, sorry .-.
emilyexorsist: (Tom)

Passed my driving test today :D:D fuckyeah! Only 3 minors! I'm on a very happy high today and it'll be even more wonderful when I can FINALLY watch the latest Game of Thrones episode I missed.

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY I CAN DRIVE!
 

couple more gifs )

 


...

May. 11th, 2011 10:37 pm
emilyexorsist: (Default)

So damn sleepy. Is it only wednesday? I don't think I can manage two more days >_>


Sorry I'm such a bad LJ friend. Exams are so close and life... well is pretty much non-existent save studying. I'll catch up on whatever I can, whenever I can, is that okay? <3

:)

May. 8th, 2011 05:10 pm
emilyexorsist: (GofTDae)

One: I went clubbing last night again and we went to Reflex, this awesome 80's themed club, and they played Nena like four times and it was SO AWESOME xD 
Two: Game of Thrones is on tomorrow and I'm already buzzing for it! 
Three: I'm stuck on my Torg fic :( I don't know what's wrong with me. Every time I sit down and tell myself WRITE IT, I can't. At all.... help?
Four: I want to be in a new fandom. I'm thinking Game of Thrones. I'm not leaving the Tokio Hotel fandom, of course.
Five: I'm dying my hair lighter soon, golden sort of. Then I'm bleaching the ends and dying blue for the summer, YUS! 
Six: I am absolutely WHIPED. I need to sleep for days to recooperate.
Seven: I have a lot to catch up on on THF! And while I'm here, recs?

Eight: how is my flist?

:3 togethernessssssss.

emilyexorsist: (Default)
The last 24ish hours of my life in a nutshell (or two). I'll bullet these, in case I go off on some tangent that isn't necessary xD

One: It was Sarah's birthday on the 4th, one of my best friends, and we threw her a surprise party in her garden. She thought she was getting a surf board, but instead she got us :D Total bargain, right? I'd never been to a surprise party before and it was awesome. I had blueberry cider for the first time. Yum.... ish?
Two: Yesteray was her birthday meal which she herself organised and we had cocktails and burgers, proper classy like :3 She ate too much and gave me her chips to finish. Then I ate too much. She took a trillion photos on her new SLR. Iwantonesobad.
Three: I got dropped off by a friend after her meal to my old best friend Ellie's house where I met with the three girls I'm going to Turkey with in the summer :D We went clubbing. I drank more than I've ever drunk before in one go in my life and STILL wasn't wasted. Not that that was my intention. But it was a bit bizarre. I stayed at Ellie's and she drove me to college on 3 hours sleep. It hasn't hit me yet. Crap.
Last bits :3 )
emilyexorsist: (Default)

Just a quickie! I'm gonna be AWOL for a couple of days! I have a lot coming up and foresee no time on the internet. Pooo. But I'll fill you in when I return :3

I hope you're all okay! And for while I'm gone, enjoy some twins <3333
 


Tehe :3 <33


emilyexorsist: (Default)
... I really rather hope none of my flist dislike me to much, BECAUSE:

I don't know quite WHY I am subjecting myself to such astronomical levels of humiliation but after laughing at myself for a while, I figured I can't do much damage sharing this with you guys. Okay, I take that back with ~immediate haste, this can do an awful lot of damage, xD But I couldn't resist. This is the outcome of my sister Tessa and I, and a webcam. I think my sister would skin me alive if I posted the one of her which is similar to the one down below of me, but in reality she is an Kaya Scodelario look-a like soooo really, I'm sure she'll survive the trauma.

ET VOILA:
IF YOU DARE... or if I dare xD )

In other news, I lost aaaaall my contacts on my phone D: I've gone down from over 150 and managed to salvage 33 from a facebook plea but noooooooooo I feel so lost! And all my images, videos, music, AND ALL MY DRAFTS have gone. I'm most pissed about the loss of contacts and drafts because I had a little store of fic ideas/lines/titles I always looked at when I was in need of inspiration .-. Now I have none. GUH.
emilyexorsist: (Default)

Oooooh man I just saw Bill's facial hair for the first time xD I dunno how I feel about it yet, he sort of looks like he should carry a sword and charm the ladies with an accent. OH WAIT that already happened. Now all he needs is a sword and he's game :D Okay, it's decided, I like the beard.

Wonder what Tom thinks...? QUICK, SOMEONE WRITE A FIC! .-.

 

Royal gingerbread! )

 


:D

Apr. 26th, 2011 10:36 pm
emilyexorsist: (Default)
I thought about it, I really did, but I can't catch up with everyone's posts from the 17th. I've left it way too long o__O I'm really really sorry about that and god, I just hope I haven't missed anything too important. Or that some of you have been feeling down and I haven't commented or sent any virtual hugs your way. I'm not ignoring anyone! I just don't have the time to catch up from the 17th. I hope you don't mind too much. Is there anything vital that I should see/you want me to see? If so let me know!

This afternoon was spent half doing revision (holyfuckingcrap exams are close o__O) and half catching up with [livejournal.com profile] fyredancer's Appetite and other awesome fics which has been so so so so nice :D And now I'm watching Kerrang on telly and have managed to get 218 emails down to 5 iahflufhewfku *\o/* What else? Oh yeah!

I WENT ON MY FIRST DATE!!!

Wait, what? Me? Um, yes I did actually :3 It's a bizarre situation which I won't bore you all with (unless you're Jess who has already heard it all, sorry baby!) But turns out my friend(ish) Jack likes me, and he took me out for a proper official date type thing! Something I've never done nor imagined myself ~actually doing. He took me for cocktails and a sundae and a walk ^_^ Maybe it'll be something? Who knows. I might come crying to you guys for advice/help/saving because I LITERALLY have no dating experience .-.

In fandom related news, again, THANK YOU for the THF feature ^__^ and in other news, I'm writing my first Torg, whoa o_O So, I shall leave you with, what else, some twins :D


 Also, I'm reeeeeally craving Bill/OMC? Any suggestions? :3

emilyexorsist: (Default)

Sooo I've been away from LJ because my wonderful friend Silke was staying with me. She's gone now *tear* and I thought I'd have today to catch up on my flist seeing as it has been neglected since Sunday ;___; But turns out I'm staying at a friend's until tomorrow SO I won't be able to catch up 'til tomorrow night. Anyway seeing as I have ~nothing to post right now I'll give you some shitty webcam shots of myself upon waking up a few hours ago (with sunnies on of course xD) And then come saturday I might post pictures of my week ^_^

morninnnnggg! )First thing in the morning: it would take Bill fucking Kaulitz to make me smile... evidently >_>

I really hope you're ll okay. I've had a quick scan of my flist and seems a few of you aren't :( I hope the sun shines soon for you all! <3<333

emilyexorsist: (Default)

I'll try keep this short, and just bullet things that are cool/important :)

One: I'm sorry I've been AWOL. I haven't felt like being online really, I sort of became a bit of a recluse, apart from reading the odd fanfic on THF. Speaking of which, I have to read the latest feature on THF! Looks exciting *_* Anyway, feeling low means I avoid... things.
Two: I managed to grab three days in a row with my RL best friend Sarah which is always asjasiuyuljf lovely because I need my Sar fix. My friend Larry also came round last night and she is literally the most smiley person ever so that was helpful ^_^
Three: This is cool because I'm in it xD

The "Andrej Pejic Fans!" site is of my own creation. I made it ages ago on THO.com just because I thought he could do with some love over there and my friend linked me on facebook xD It's kinda old now but I kept forgetting to post it on my flist! Anyway, THAT was my little dose of excitement.
Four: My best friend and FIRST online friend is coming over tomorrow through to Thursday and I am so so so SO excited about that! We finally met in the summer last year when I went to stay with her in Belgium and now she's coming over to Winchester :D
Five: I'm going to Anna, one of my oldest friend's, Birthday tonight so from about an hour from now I won't be online until Thursday night. I really hope I don't miss anything too dramatic! Im currently catching up on the last few days of flist :)

Love to you all and I hope you're all doing okay <3333


.-.

Apr. 12th, 2011 11:57 pm
emilyexorsist: (Default)
Damn it. Just feeling so fucking blue.

;____;

Apr. 12th, 2011 11:04 pm
emilyexorsist: (Default)
One day I will be thin(ner). And maybe beautiful. I just looked in the mirror, like really looked in the mirror, and... yeah. No make-up, no clothes. I've been fine with my body for so long and suddenly all I see is a fat, ugly girl who really really doesn't look very happy. Maybe the reason I've been feeling sort of okay about myself is because I haven't really allowed myself to look at myself properly. It's such a disgustingly unattractive sight.

I need to change. Again.

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